knocked on my ass...

What a Fall and Winter. My thyroid and the one defective parathyroid gland were removed at the end of December. I had great hope all would be better, but...
I have regained 25 lbs.(hypothyroidism-still trying to get the synthroid levels right) still can't sleep and my GD parathyroid glands have not started to work again !!! I am on calcitriol and 8 600mg tabs of calcium per day. Folks, even though 95 % of the people who have this operation do well...I am in the 5% who have not done well...still tingling around and inside my mouth and my hands are horrible with numbness and tingling unless I take my meds !!! Even then, it is touch and go...mornings are the worst. Know this before you have this done !!!!

It has been really depressing and having to deal with a new supervisor who does not have enough experience and is 20 years younger and trying to "climb the ladder" and impress...I did not like her before and once again...I don't respect her. I would just once like to have a supervisor I respect. I don't care if I like them...but respect is more important. But at the age I am...its not likely to happen at this point.

Mother is OK...have her on the anti-depressants...no way she can get off of them now. She keeps asking what they are for and shouldn't she be off of them by now ? Just keep telling her...you are taking them for the rest of your life !!! We decided not to tell her about the Alzheimers diagnosis...just that she had strokes. This is also what I tell her when she says "I miss my freedom driving gave me, the most" as though I will break down and let her drive again !!!!
Yeah...right...I want you to kill yourself and someone else alone with you !!! NO WAY !!!

SIGH...more life later...

2010- The year of Change

yes...I know it has been a long time...guess I didn't have the heart.

Jan. 2010-Diagnosed with very long, large blood clot (DVT-look it up) in my right leg...at least I didn't have any in my left leg as before !!!
I was again thrown in the hospital overnight...segue to next morning...Small female doctor walks in "OK...we know about the clot...and you will have to take Warfarin (anti-coagulant) for the rest of your life...because you had a recurring problem. However, you also have diabetes...not just a little , but full-blown diabetes. You have high blood pressure, high cholesterol...the worst kind..."
Gee...thanks doc...could it be any better news ???
Since then...I have developed Glaucoma, Diabetic Nerve damage in my legs and up...hyercalcemia (gotta take out some parathroid glands) hyperthyroidism (gotta take the thyroid !) Rheumatoid Arthritis etc...etc...etc...
I am a walking ad for two people not having offspring, who could potentially have so many illnesses that have been passed down genetically !!
Oh....but we aren't done there...Hemotology work-up....the list goes on and on....
and I am trying to take care of my 86 YO mother who has Alzheimers !
But hey !!! I've lost 100lbs so far !!! Lol
That's enough for now...gotta save something for later............

Starting Over - with hope

Yes...I know...another weight loss blog, but when you weigh well over 350 LBS...and you are a fifty nine YO with serious health problems...folks...you gotta do something !
I won't bore anyone with the usual stories of yo yo dieting...having my children late in life and other things.
I want to work this out, but get ready folks...this WILL NOT be a blog where I sit here and blame myself entirely nor will I do the "poor me" trip. I am an experiment in progress and will not let those so called experts blame this all on emotional problems...sorry that is pure crap !!!!!
So...if you want my philosophy...stay with me on this journey.

Last week I joined WW again for the umpteenth time. Yes, I know all the negative stories...the expense, but I did loose 70 Lbs back in the early 90's and would probably have continued to loose most of my extra weight on their program, except for a small problem...I got pregnant !!
So...needless to say, as I was thirty nine at the time, my body said "Whoopee ! Time to eat !" LOL and it has been downhill ever since, with many attempts in the process.

Biochemical chaos is showing up more and more as being the true problem with obese people.The research is proving this. Emotional eating, at least for me, has been a difference of only about 10-20 lbs. in the overall picture.

I might have considered gastric bypass (the most extreme kind) except for my problems with my body forming blood clots. I am also not wild about the high risks and the failure rate. Just not worth it in my mind. For all of you who have achieved sucess with this...my congrats go out to you, but why should we have to go through this !?!

I can't take the current weight loss drugs due to digestive problems, so...this directs me to one thing...doing it by myself.

Now...I know even if I am successful at getting rid of the excess lbs., the fat cells that have been created in my obese state, will not disappear (read the research)... ever calling me to fill them up again. So...while it is possible to become smaller, my body will fight this and I will never be able to change the desire to be full. This is the beast within.

I need to rest now...I will be sorry I decided to start this at midnight...in the morning I will struggle, but it had to be done.

I will be able to post each day...as this is ever on my mind......

Good Night 1